Before and After

So I wrote a poem that reflects my internal conflict and confusion about who I am now.  I can't quite grasp the circumstances of my new life.  I know I'm not pregnant anymore.  I know that Beau and Maisie are gone.  Every day I wake up, I am reminded instantly that all of that happiness was the Before and I am now living in the After, which can never, ever be as carefree and fulfilling. I just want to feel like me again.  I want my babies and my innocence back.